What Should I Text A Girl I’m Talking To?

Posted in How to Text Girls 

Hey guys — P-Funk here.

Do you ever find yourself wondering — “What should I text a girl I’m talking to?“.

You want to text her something that will make her like you. You want to come off as cool. And you want her to want to bang you presumably.

Okay, stick with me. I’ll tell you exactly what to text to a girl you’re talking to.

Here’s The Information I Need..

So check me out — there are some one-liners and canned stuff that you can use over-and-over again. You can read more example text message lines here.

But in reality, the answer to the question of what should I text a girl I’m talking to –

Has to come from the CONTEXT of the RELATIONSHIP you’ve had so far.

In other words, you don’t want to just text her something random that has no meaning to her.

Even if it’s the BEST line in the world, if it seems weird or funky or somehow doesn’t fit into what she’s come to expect from you, then it’s NOT going to work.

So here are some questions that I need you to answer:

  • How long have you known the girl?
  • Have you hooked up before? If so, what base did you get to?
  • How many times have you hooked up with her?
  • Where did you meet her? How do you know her?
  • What types of activities have you done with her so far?
  • When were some times that the two of you had fun together?
  • Do you know any of the same people?

Asking yourself these questions will help steer you in the right direction to answer the question what should I text a girl I’m talking to..


The answer will be totally different based on those questions. It’s quite a bit different if it’s a girl you’ve had sex with already, than if it’s a new girl.

Some General Rules & Guidance For Text Messaging

If you follow these rules, you’ll be GOLDEN.

Rule #1 – don’t text and drive. Oprah says so.

Rule #2 – take a long time to answer her. You’re not her puppy dog.

Rule #3 – make her work for it. Don’t be too nice.

Rule #4 – be funny & easy-going. See TextsFromLastNight.com for some inspiration.

Rule #5 – don’t forget rules #1-4.

For some situation-specific advice and also funny games, dirty text message ideas, and one-liners, check out some of our other posts:

How to make a girl want you via text messaging part 1/5

Making a girl want you via text messaging part 2/5

Have the best text sex of your life!

Dirty text message ideas — tips for guys AND girls

Text flirting and how to do it

Text message game ideas for girls you just met

ALSO — if you want REALLY specific advice from me — i.e. if you want me to coach you personally and help you answer the question of what should I text a girl I’m talking to –

Just fill in the comment box below with all the information I need (the questions from above) and I’ll respond to you.

Easy as that!

Go back to the main How To Text Girls category

Go back to the Text-Girls.com HOMEPAGE


20 Responses to “What Should I Text A Girl I’m Talking To?”

  1. Michael on May 24th, 2010 2:53 pm

    Hey man, nice website. So I’m in high school, just met this girl last Friday.

    She approached me w/ her friends one of them said “Hey ur cute.” I

    said “thank you” and as they walked off the friend said “Actually she thinks ur

    hot.” A friend and I ran into them later and had short conversation. I IM’d her

    on facebook after school the next day and we had a successful conversation (she replied quickly and was clearly interested).

    So yesterday I got a new phone and texted her which didnt go as well, but

    she replied to everything and sometimes very quickly, sometimes slow. I

    replied slow almost every time, but I said a lot more than she did. She

    hasn’t texted me yet without me texting first. Also, keep in

    mind I’ve never had a gf b4 so I dont know really what to do yet,

    but I was being playful and confident, but probably too nice. We’ve never

    hooked up yet, I met her in the hall with dance class and tennis locker room.

    We haven’t done anything yet and we know a couple of the same people.

  2. Michael on May 24th, 2010 2:54 pm

    not trying to get laid btw ;-) .

  3. admin on June 7th, 2010 4:22 pm

    Hey Michael, thanks for the comment.

    SOUNDS like you’re in — you just gotta play it cool (e.g. NOT fuck it up!) — CLEARLY she thinks you’re hot.

    It takes quite a bit of balls from a girl’s point-of-view to go up to a guy and say he’s hot.

    Go dark on her for a little while. Don’t let her get used to you always being around and always being there for her.

    Couple questions for you:

    1. How old are you?
    2. How hot is this girl? Are we talking a 9.5 or more like a 6? (the hotness level of the girl usually determines how much I challenge her — if she’s not that hot, you can be nice and still get her)
    3. What do you guys talk about when you text?
    4. What pieces of advice have you used so far?
    5. Have you given her a nickname? Do you have any inside jokes going with her?

    So yea, go dark on her for a little while. Preferably, date/text with some other girls so she sees you and gets possessive/jealous.

    Then be funny and care free. Make jokes, talk about sex, just be yourself.

    Visualize yourself being with her and feel the feelings of relief and excitement that will come the first time you guys kiss.

    Another thing is that as cool as texting is, a lot of times girls appreciate it when you CALL them! Don’t be scared to call. You can’t just text your way ALL the way into her pants.

    You’ve got to get on the phone with her and/or hang out with her in person for best results.

    Get tickets to a cool event or an invitation to a cool party and invite her to go. Make sure that you’re ALREADY going, so it’s not like –

    “Wanna go to the movies?”

    But MORE like

    “Dammit, I have these extra tickets, want to go?”

    Good luck brotha — I’m cheering for you. Please come back and let me know how it works out.


  4. alex on June 21st, 2010 6:55 pm

    i really need help i dnt knw what to say when i text her. she get mad when i dnt text her cuz i really dnt knw what to talk bout .. please help me!!!

  5. [...] Why? Because some chicks feel that texting takes no effort, that it’s impersonal, and that only kids in high school do it. [...]

  6. Bill on January 3rd, 2011 11:38 pm

    Hi Guys, thanks for the great info on your website. A bit difficult to juggle all your concepts at once but getting better with practice. I am looking for a bit of personalized advice for a girl I’ve been seeing. Any help would be much appreciated. Here are the details:

    - I’ve been flirt-texting her for about three weeks
    - A few long phone calls mixed in
    - I’ve seen her twice in the past two weeks, not much physical contact
    - I have to be very delicate with this – she is a female friend’s sister
    - We have very different schedules (she works the night shift) which is why texts have become our primary mode of communication
    - She’s had a crush on me for a long while but I had barely ever noticed her before now

    Our texts started playful, inquisitive, and were very frequent. But, she began asking more serious questions (what i think about her, do i like her, blah blah blah etc.). This in turn led me to be more serious in my texts. I also indicated that I in fact like her quite a bit. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind simply banging her or getting more serious with her but it is imperative her sis doesn’t find out if only the former occurred. I do like her but there does seem to be a limit to how much i feel i can like her.

    Problem: #1. Following my declaration that i did like her, she seems less interested (i understand this is often the case, which is why you advise not revealing too much). I did however feel enough time had passed and she was giving me every indication she was totally digging me.

    #2. Our texts have gotten less interesting, for me and likely for her as well. I still don’t know her all that well but I’m having a hard time keeping things fun and fresh. I don’t want to have invested all this time and have it fizzle out without so much as a feel-up.

    #3 I’ve never moved so slow on a girl (again, being delicate with this b/c of sis) but now I feel I’ve laid the groundwork for an extremely slow buildup to sex. I had sex with my last gf on the first night I went out with her… after that night, it was obviously not awkward being physical again. However, I don’t know how to handle the awkward phase in the relationship I find myself in now.

    I realize I’ve undermined my hard work by being too careful (frankly being a pussy) and not aggressive in our first two encounters. I want to make sure I don’t lose her interest – our ‘relationship’ seems to be in a very fragile, fickle state at the moment. And I’d like to know how to get in her pants ASAP without freaking her out by taking my game up too many notches right away.

    Sorry for the length of the message. Your wisdom in the matter is supremely appreciated.


  7. david on February 8th, 2011 4:54 pm

    hey guys nice website and very informative. i have an ex im trying to get back with and its not working out too good. we dated for almost a year and she broke it off without warning and its been a year and a half and im still in love with her for some crazy reason. first off shes a girl that loves people of power. ex, police officers, firefighters, emt’s. and shes independent and mostly likes older guys mostly with money (or her idea of it) anyway we talk from time to time and mostly bullshit about random stuff and sometimes reminisce (spelling?) about old times. she always tells me she wonders what it would be like if we stayed together. im such a puss though when it comes to her, ive asked her to hang out a few times and she always says shes busy or lies about not having time and when we text i end up talking about us and things i loved about being with her and i get short answered or she responds to the most pointless thing i said in the book i wrote her or shell act like shes doing something and has to go. its embarassing and annoying. im sorry this is so long but i need yalls advice on how to get her back or even interested in me again. thank yall very much.

  8. david on February 8th, 2011 5:02 pm

    oh and by the way i think im deep in the “friend zone”, one of those friends you never talk to zone. im just trying to get noticed, spark her interest again and yes i am trying to get laid haha

  9. John on April 13th, 2011 5:10 pm

    ok so first of im in high school i like this girl and we went on a couple of dates but it feels like were growing apart and i dont want that to happen and shes not replying to my texts like she used to can you help me?

  10. admin on April 13th, 2011 5:27 pm

    Gotcha, gotcha…okay, so a couple thoughts.

    1. If she’s not responding like she used to, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not into you. She could just be busy. How long has it been since she was really responsive?

    2. It’s important that you don’t come off as being needy or desperate. If she’s not responding, that doesn’t mean you should text more. It probably means you should text less.

    3. When you do text her, make sure you’re not being really SERIOUS…joke around, be funny, be light. Don’t try to get her to commit to anything. Say funny stuff like, “Hey princess…what’re you doing these days? Other than thinking about me and doodling my name all over your stuff… :)

    The smiley face is important. It shows her you’re kidding.

    Feel free to give more details and we’ll try to help. Good luck, brother.

  11. dylan on May 19th, 2011 8:03 pm

    so I like this girl and she used to like me but I made her wait too long cuz I had a thing with another girl. she doesn’t know if she likes me any more and we just had a big argument. when we don’t argue all we talk about is what were doing and then the conversation ends. I’m trying to get her to like me again but it’s just not working. help me please! were in highs hook btw…

  12. Mikey on June 25th, 2011 5:05 pm

    Hi, so i just got out of a long relationship,im 21 and was with my ex for 4 years, i met this girl who i went to school with ( but dont ever remember talking to ) in town a week ago. we was talking about going to uni and she said she would help me get in. she was quite keen to give me her number so i think she liked me. I havent texted or rang her yet because i diddnt realise how good looking she was until i looked her up on facebook today. Im not sure what to tx her now as its been a long time since i last chatted up a girl. what should i say to her? any help would be greatley apreciated. I dont wanna fuck it up because shes a really nice girl. thanks

  13. P-Funk on June 25th, 2011 5:50 pm

    Hi Mikey, thanks for the comment bro. So I don’t think it’s been THAT long… though a week is a little long. And she seems to be digging you, so you may not need to think about it so much.

    But I’d say something like…

    Hey it’s Mikey, it was nice to meet you at [NAME OF PLACE YOU MET HER]. Are you always so nice to strangers?

    This is a fun, flirty way to open her up. It’s been a hit almost every single time I’ve used it.

    Hope this helps.

  14. P-Funk on June 25th, 2011 5:57 pm

    So for the time being bro, it sounds like you should ignore her for a minute. Whenever you’re trying to get a girl to like you and it’s not working, it’s usually a losing battle.

    What I would do if I were you is leave her alone for a minute. This works especially well for you since you’re in high school.

    Why is being in high school an advantage? Because you HAVE to see her sometimes. You may be in some classes together or you see each other at lunch, or whatever.

    But as you’re ignoring her, also start taking an interest in some other girls. There’s gotta be some other girls that you’re in to. Start going after THEM a little.

    The fact that this girl used to like you means that she’s going to like you again soon. She already digs you. You’re just making yourself too available and that’s a turnoff.

    But the moment she thinks that another girl may get you… she’s going to go ape shit and start liking you again.

    Also, get involved w/ other activities. Join the school play. Try out for the wrestling team. Join the Spanish club. Do whatever you’re into.

    Being busy is cool on two fronts: First, you’re busy, which makes you seem cool and important and valuable. Second, chics are busy too, so you’ll meet other chics that you like, start flirting w/ them, and it will drive this chic crazy.

    But for the time being bro, I think you should leave this one alone.

    Hope this helps.


  15. P-Funk on June 25th, 2011 6:10 pm

    Bill, thanks for the comment. Sorry for my delay in getting back to you.

    Yea, so it sounds like a classic case of the chick that wants what she can’t have… and doesn’t really want what she can have. Like the fact that she now knows you like her has kinda been the dagger.

    No worries though, you can get her back. Here’s what you do:

    1. Stop worrying so much about the hook-up. Hook-ups happen naturally when the chemistry is there. When you focus a lot on the hook-up, you’re putting yourself at a natural disadvantage b/c girls *feel* vibes and energy much more than guys do. What you want to do is focus on the way you feel around her. Make sure that you’re feeling good at all times. Don’t think about sex too much.

    2. Flip the script. Pretend like you never said you like her. Instead, imagine that you’re getting ready to stop talking to her if she doesn’t soon prove herself. Make it her job to prove to you that she’s the right girl. Now that you’re forgetting about the sex, also become more tolerant to her beauty and physical characteristics. Make her feel that those aren’t enough to keep you around. Hop in the drivers seat and make her wonder about you by asking her questions like, “So what are some other cool things about you?”

    3. Stop being a pussy. I would elaborate on this, but it’s already been written about quite eloquently by my boy Brad P. http://bradp.com/rule-774 <— Dude knows his shit.

  16. Ron on July 25th, 2011 3:10 pm

    Hey, this is good website, I haven’t try any of it yet.

    Anyway me and my buddy were at the beach and we met these two beautiful girls that live near us. We met at a concert and we listened to the music and talked to them all night and they seemed pretty interested.

    We exchanged numbers and me and the one girl texted for a little but not much. I had trouble keeping the convo going.

    The next day she texted me and asked if we wanted to come up to their street to swim by their hotel and we did, it was fun, I know she had fun. We all talked in person and we got into good convos but the texts and I wanna keep talking to her. We have a movie date them two and my bud soon. I haven’t texted her all day because I don’t wanna say something stupid or be boring.

    Thanks, I hope you can hope me man.

  17. P-Funk on July 27th, 2011 1:40 pm

    Hey man, so this seems like a thing where you’re good at talking to her face-to-face, but for some reason you choke when it comes to texting. Would you say that’s accurate?

    If I were you, I may try to actually get her on the phone more. As cool as texting is… you shouldn’t totally forget about talking on the phone. Some girls really like talking on the phone, especially older ones.

    Here are a couple of ideas based on what you told me…

    1. Don’t worry about sounding stupid. In fact, girls like it when you say stupid, goofy stuff. You can always back out of anything you said with a quick ‘j/k’ you know? I would get silly and be stupid on purpose. It makes girls laugh, which in turn turns them on.

    2. But DEFINITELY worry about being boring. This is the worst thing you can do. But stupid and boring are different. It’s better to be really stupid than to be even slightly boring.

    3. If you don’t have anything funny to say, text less. There’s nothing wrong with texting less frequently and in fact, it has some inherent advantages. It makes you seem busy and thus, desirable. In your case especially, because it seems like she’s into you enough that you can maintain that.

    4. Have some go-to texting lines to say. If you have to come up with some new material every… single… time… you meet a new girl, you’ll go crazy! That’s what sites like this are for! Check out some of these texting games that we’ve used before. Also check out these examples of text messages that made our girls horny.

    Hope this helps brotha. Come back by and let us know what happens.


  18. Akiem on August 1st, 2011 9:27 pm

    Hey man, ok so im kno this girl who is a few years older than me im 15. so ive knew her for about 5years and i got her number about 2mnths ago and ive been txting her msgs and she would respond.. and when she didnt days later she would say sorry 4not responding..

    btw we have never dated we are jus friends.. all this is great but i just cant seem to strike up an ongoing convo were she has true interest.. and i already kno every thng about her so i know i cant txt like a chick i jus met. i need to know how to keep a convo goin were she likes it..

    this situation is bugging me and i need help..

  19. JORDAN on October 6th, 2011 3:44 pm

    thanks man i never left a comment but i read some things that were similiar to my situation and now we are going out

  20. P-Funk on November 25th, 2011 2:21 pm

    That’s the best news ever! We love hearing success stories. Can you write out the exact text string & share w/ the group?

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